Sassy

Ever wonder where your little darlings come up with some of the stuff they say?

Because they are little repeaters and all that sass they give you is learned....from YOU!

They grasp the word "NO" so quickly because you continuously say "no".  To them to the other kids to other people.  Lots and lots of "no" flying around every day.  We tried stop instead and well the result was "stop" or "you stop it."  Yup that goes around a lot.  Everyday we do something that ticks Evangeline off and we get a finger point and "You stop that!"  "Stop it (insert name)"

The second you laugh at something they've done is a sure way to encourage them to continue that behavior.  Be careful what you giggle at....potty humor is great, who doesn't enjoy good laughs at it, but when your toddler gets up next to you and points her butt at you and makes fart noises with her mouth and collapses in giggles and repeat and repeat.... when your older children have taught your toddler how to moon you.  How are you supposed to react to that...yes it's funny...yes its inappropriate...punishment (yes no maybe so).

What about bad words?  We've all said them, we've all heard them come from our toddler's mouths. And it is funny....in a shocking kind of way.  Nothing like a two year old wandering around the house saying.  "F*@K, or S@!T."  Or a 4 year old copying your road rage words while playing with cars.  :)

What's worse is that they adopt your tone of voice too.  SO when someone else is watching your child and that person receives a scolding from a toddler the reaction isn't going to go over well.  Or when your toddler or older children try to be "bossy" to kids younger, older, same age. 
I guess you are supposed to respect your children, since they copy everything you do good and bad, maybe they will learn to respect.

By no means am I a model parent. Trust me when I say my girls are SASSY (examples above and in other blogs).  The older two it has tempered well because you can be reasonable with them and they have a better grasp on situations,  they will use phrases like; that was completely inappropriate.  Its nice cause they can police themselves now. 

That leaves me with one.....completely out of control, sassy mouthed toddler who can aggravate and then surprise with in seconds.  Nothing like telling your toddler "wow you were singing very nicely" and in response you get "Oh thank you mommy."

So they do get more than just sass from you.  :)

parenthood a balancing act.

People have all kinds of things and advice to tell you as a parent.  What they can't do is tell you what will work for you.

Evangeline has been extremely frustrating lately.  She has never been a "carry me" kid but the last few days she has been "carry me Mommy."  I mean its extreme.  I get up to go to the bathroom and she's following behind me crying "Carry me Mommy."  Completely crazy and freaky.  At any rate my left shoulder (my carrying side) is wrecked.  It hurts to move it in any form now.  So today I decided I wasn't going to carry her.

A list of infractions are as follows (my infractions, then how she punished me, and how I punished her):

Mommy made a couple of phone calls.  Evangeline decided to drag an entire roll of toilet paper around the house.  Mommy sighed, kept her cool and made Evangeline help pick up and throw away the wasted TP.


Mommy refused to carry Evangeline to the potty.  Evangeline wet her pants as she stood there and screamed at Mommy.  Mommy sighed, kept her cool again and made Evangeline clean up her mess and put her wet things in the bathroom.

Mommy made dinner.  Evangeline didn't want dinner and expressed this by hitting Mommy.  Mommy growled and put Evangeline in time out on the stairs, until Evangeline could say she was sorry.  Mommy let Evangeline out of time out. 
Happy ending I THINK NOT!

Mommy ignores Evangeline to help Trinity study.  Evangeline doesn't like that Mommy will not come change the channel or put a movie in for her.  Evangeline throws all of the kids movies on the floor by knocking over the table they were on.  Mommy yells, makes Evangeline help pick up the movies and walks her, not carries her, to time out.  
Still not over with by a long shot!  Our time out is on the bottom stair.  Because there is nothing there to look at or see. 

Mommy finishes with Trinity and heads to the bathroom...because ahhhh, she can go by herself for the first time all day because her little tag-a-long is in time out.  Trinity comes running yelling.  Evangeline has peeled the new wall paper off parts of the wall!

WTF are you serious?  So Mommy heads for the stairs as Evangeline takes cover under the kitchen table.  The truth is before Mommy's eyes.  At the very bottom of the stairs and at the top of the stairs tons of wall paper lay in strips on the stairs themselves.

Mommy wisely resists the urge to skin her child....Evangeline comes willingly if some what cautiously out from underneath the table.  Evangeline finds herself standing on the stairs while Mommy somewhat calmly explains that what she did was very naughty, very mean and completely awful.  You can be mad at Mommy all you want but you are not to destroy the house!

Evangeline finds herself sitting in a chair in the dinning room while mommy took a time out and began writing this blog.  Suddenly Evangeline's crying hits an all time high and Mommy realizes that Grandma must be home with Piper. 

Mommy explains to Grandma what's happened and Grandma has to cover her face with her cowl to cover her laughter.

And you know what it's okay that Grandma was laughing, Mommy's mouth was twitching while she was telling Grandma what had happened all day.

Mommy hopes that this story (a cautionary tale for mother's everywhere) makes your lips twitch a little.
Because these are the things kids do. They are never always little angels and you may yell and bluster a lot at them, but if you hug and kiss and praise more they will never doubt your love.

After all we all are only human right?  Kids don't always have the tools to cope with their anger so they do things like:
Flush stuff down the toilet
Break you favorite coffee cup
Write on the walls
Push their siblings
Empty their drawers and drag clean clothes all over the house
Throw things
Kick and hit
Wipe snot on your clothes (yes I constitute that as an aggressive act)
Tear up stuff
Cut up stuff (no matter how hard your try to keep scissors out of their little hands)
Wet their pants with the intention to push your buttons

Whats funny I would rather have all those things happen in one day than deal with tantrums.


Enjoy your laugh or giggle.  Because here I am sitting and writing and smiling and loving my three babies with all my heart! 

I hate balloons a parent's point of view

“I hate balloons.” Is something I hear after every time the kids get balloons.  Adam drives home from where ever we were and complains the whole time about the little floating pieces of rubber or Mylar clogging up his view out of the rear view mirror, drifting up front between the seats and bobbing around us.  They always get knocked back, and I always hear “I hate balloons.”

When it was child happily sitting in the back of the car with one balloon it was perfectly fine, a Norman Rockwell moment even.  Two children with two balloons floating in the back became a bit annoying.  Not to mention a bit more dangerous.  So policy became that all balloons had to remain in your lap.  Well damn mom that’s no fun was the look in their eyes.  Then it became don’t let them float up front, because they will be popped by mommy and daddy.  I know that threat sounds cruel, but you only have to threaten once, they love those damned balloons so much that even the thought of their floating joy leaving them is heart breaking.  Add child number three, or four or five, and two balloons per child and holy cow, it’s like the entire store of balloons has followed you home.  And they insist on bopping them.  The noise of balloons bouncing off knuckles is amazingly ANNOYING.

If you’ve made it home without crashing the car or actually popping a balloon or two don’t think you’re scot free.  Next comes the part when you have to get the balloons into the house.  Because your children will or do refuse to keep the damned things tied to their wrists, you have to manage to hang on the string and get the kid out of the car.  Hang on to your hat, or balloons ladies and gentlemen, because one just floated away up into the air.  Either you have let it go on purpose or accident or they have let it go definitely on accident, and open up the flood gates, the natural disaster of the century , or of today is about to strike and torrents of tears arrive.

Now if you are like me or my husband you are doing a happy dance in your head while your kid or kids are shouting and crying about their beloved balloon flying away from them with unbelievable height and speed.  You are doing your best not to smile while your little one is crying his/ her eyes out.  Now you can do one of several things, and if you have one child easing the hurt is easy, as easy as ensuring them that on your next outing you will get another balloon.  Hopefully they will forget about it before your next trip out.  If you have more than one child making them forget their floating friend is impossible, because the other kids have theirs still.  Okay so while you are doing an Irish Step Dance in your head, the kid is crying and you try comforting them, so the options are limitless. But these are the ones I like. 

A.      You can talk the other children into sharing.

B.      You can give them some other little treat.  I call this my shut the hell up stash and it works wonderfully well.

C.      You can distract them with something else.

Now my girls are pretty good about sharing.  They really do love each other as much as they protest to that fact with their fighting.  But sometimes it just doesn’t work.  The shut the hell up stash ALWAYS works, at least for that moment.

One emergency down, sweet!  So now the other kids have a death grip on their own string and as you head for the house you remind them to keep the balloon down so it doesn’t hit anything and pop.   They pull it close to them and refuse to enter the house, some of our ceilings are stucco, and not a good environment for balloons at all, unless they are Mylar.  Dang Mylar anyway.   They decide to play outside and you agree, because well let’s face it you are hoping that the damn thing will get loose and fly away.

Next thing you hear or see is another crying child dragging a limp string behind them, sigh, the process begins again.  You are doing a happy dance, and very seriously you ask “Oh no what happened?”  Between sniffles you make out that “I don’t know what happened. I only put it in the grass.”

Ta freaking da!  Grass, that annoyingly fast growing plant that covers our yards and we fight with to maintain control of our yards has helped us.  It’s the only reason my entire yard is not rock covered.  And the kids always forget that grass is sharp.  It doesn’t poke them or feel sharp to their very tough skin.  How easily it will bring a balloon low. Unless it’s Mylar. Damn Mylar anyway. So you are trying not to laugh at them, and try to explain that grass is very sharp and sometimes it can even cut people. 

This is usually the part when I am mentally rubbing my hands together.  Two down, one to go, and hopefully my plan will work, if I am persuasive enough.  To my child with the last balloon standing I suggest that she let it go.  Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, and most of the time they share that balloon, until they go to bed, and by the next day the balloon is just barely floating above the floor.  Unless it’s that Mylar crap.  Those things take forever to die, and unless you really whack it with something, hehehehehe, the kids will learn that the hard way, but they will last an excruciatingly long time.

So we are back to “I hate balloons”.  What once held as a source of joy for us, from childhood to adulthood has now been tainted by the annoyance of over exposure of the above the scenarios.

So I say. “Awe come on honey, balloons aren’t that bad.”

Adam rolls his eyes at me and says, “I liked balloons too, until I had kids, now I hate balloons.”

Teacups are weapons of mass destruction

Last night we learned a valuable lesson.

Evangeline is a female!  What a shocker for us to discover this fact!

I know, I know, what you are thinking....how the heck did you not know this?

Story time!  Its funny but at the same time not so funny.

Last night Trinity was laying next to me on the couch as we watched America's Funniest Videos.  Piper and Evangeline were in the playroom located just off the living room. All was good and most of all peaceful. :)
That peace was not to last.  I heard some noise and then Piper laughed.  Well, I thought to myself, at least they are getting along and having some fun. 
That was not to last.
A few seconds later I heard a strange cry from Piper.  I looked to Adam who was sitting in the chair...he was rolling his eyes, getting ready I could see to yell to Piper to quit her whining. I in turn heard the beginning thread of a cry that you don't hear often from Pi. It was her cry of pain.  And I said to him that it was a real cry of pain, she's hurt not whining.  Adam went in to investigate.
Results of the investigation were interesting and shocking but then when you think about Evangeline's past maybe not so much.


Evangeline decided to throw a teacup at Piper.  Not a plastic princess teacup. Nooooo, she grabbed one of the ceramic teacups from their paint your own tea set.  According to Piper, she doesn't know why, Evangeline picked up the teacup and threw it at her.  It missed.  So Evangeline determined to hit her sister with this cup, got up walked over picked the cup up and then threw it at Piper again....this time with improved aim, and now I am assuming even more pissed off because she missed the first time and was laughed at, hit her target with precise aim.  She struck Piper in the head, almost directly between the eyes.

Temper temper little miss.  It is not the first time she has gotten violent with a cup against Piper.  They had hid a glass on the window sill, I say hid, they claim they set it there and had forgotten it.  At any rate they were playing behind the curtain, Piper made Evangeline mad.  All I heard was a pop.  That sound that glass makes when it hits the floor and then Piper screaming bloody murder.  Evangeline had taken the glass and because she was mad at Pi and hit her in the head with it.  She used enough force that the glass had shattered.  I should point out that She used the bottom of the glass to hit.  

Should I hide all the cups in my house?  Come on every parent has that one toy that they worry about becoming a weapon....it's usually the die cast car, or the plastic mallet that you worry about not the little girl's teacup.  

Poor Piper, she's the baloney in my sandwich and something always happens to her when one of the pieces of bread decide to go bad. She sat on the couch with me, with a bag of broccoli on her head, exclaiming "she almost hit me right in my eye."  Piper claims that she didn't do anything to make Evangeline mad.  But she is carrying proof of her sister's rage, right on her forehead, above her left eye. 

So there it is....a woman at any age has those moments of destructive power.  It tossed me off for a bit to say the least.  Evangeline was punished, she went up stairs to bed, she was made to apologize to Piper, which even at a young age she has a difficult time doing.

The most beautiful thing about my girls....this morning Evangeline and Piper were in their room playing together in Piper's bed, laughing and having fun.  There is forgive and forget and the need to just love your family no matter what they had just done to you 12 hours before.

Lalaloopsy the world has ended.

I know I should not make light of Evangeline's little tragedies, they are her worst nightmares and while they seem trivial to us to a little kid it really can mean the end of the world.

We were out last night enjoying some grown up time, my mother watched the girls for us. I do not know what time it was, it was early not even 8pm and suddenly Adam is handing me his phone.  "Mom?" I asked him.  He shook his head and said "No.  Evangeline."

This brought a smile to my face and I took the phone waiting to hear her cheerful voice on the other end.  I should have refused the call.

Evangeline had taken with her to Grandma and Grandpa's house two of her favorite toys. Mini Lalaloopsy. If you don't know what a Lalaloopsy is it's a plastic doll, big or small and has the look of the old rag dolls, with "yarn" hair and button eyes, they come with little pets and accessories. Each one has it's own theme.  Little Big Top is Circus themed for example.  They are actually very adorable and all 3 girls will spend hours playing with them in the clever packaging that doubles as a little house and the carrying case that is also a house that Evangeline got for Christmas.

I took the call and Evangeline was on the other end and she was very unhappy.  I caught parts of she was trying to say and finally it was all put together in one sentence.  "Kate ate my Loopsies"
"Oh no Kate ate your Loopsy?"  Kate being a perky (annoyingly so) Maltese/Shiatsu mix puppy.  The adults surrounding me at that moment either laughed or stared at me now.  Come on how often do you hear the word Loopsy in a bar?

A tearful yes assaulted my ears and I assured her then when next we went out I would replace the eaten Loopsy.   

When we arrived to pick the kids up, Evangeline was sleeping.  When she woke up and saw me the pitiful tears began and it was horrible, she accepted the eaten Lalaloopsies from my mom and then proceeded to bitch at me.  I figured that by morning she would forget that it ever happened.

I wish....first thing she did when she got up this morning was to stand in the hallway and the second she saw me leave my room she began to cry.  She cried and complained about her Loopsies.  I should have thrown those damn chewed up toys in the trash last night after we got her to bed.  Instead I left them on the kitchen table and she picked them up.  Evangeline detailed every mark and missing piece on those mini dolls.  The worst doll of the two was her brand spanking new dolly.  24 hours was how long it had been in our home.  Jewel Sparkles.  That was her name.  She has a pretty pink party dress, her hair up in little half pig tails (dog ears in our home) a pink crown on her head, white knee high socks and yellow Mary Jane's on her feet or at least she had those things.  One piggy tail and the crown eaten.  Two knee high socks and Mary Jane's eaten. Bite marks and teeth drags mar what's left of the beloved object, one head with half hair, a smiling face and a pretty pink party dress.   I tried saying "Oh she has a hair cut and she's had a terrible accident and now Jewel Sparkles is special. She didn't buy into that at all.  In fact I got, oooh, the "look" and chewed out by my 3 year old. She was really going and super mad, and he cold made her look even more crazy.
Evangeline's bed head hair was standing on end, her tutu was askew, tears streaked down her face and snot now drained from her nose.  I swear I tried to clean her up but I was dodged and screamed at more.
She demanded that I go out and get her a new Loopsy.

I didn't yell, I didn't react...because what I really wanted to do was laugh.  Not at her because that would be horrible to do, but at the entire situation and then I thought what does that say?  Do we really give her so much that she thinks she can make demands on us and they will be fulfilled regardless of the way she presents them.  No it has to be that its just what most children do.

My morning has been spent deflecting and avoiding any more talk of Loospy dolls.  Especially after Evangeline asked oh so sweetly of her Daddy.  "We going shopping Daddy?  Please."  How he held it together and didn't agree to take her out I have no idea.  :)

She was so determined that she even called Grandma to talk about her Loopsy again.  Maybe Grandma will buy her another one.  Maybe Evangeline will learn her lesson and not leave something where Kate can get it.  Maybe Kate will learn her lesson and not eat stuff that doesn't belong to her...maybe the loopsy hair and legs will show up some time soon.  Maybe Grandma will teach Kate some manners. Who knows.

But as this day has progressed she has protested the ruined toy less.  She will not let it go though.  "I get a new Lalaloopsy?"  She knows exactly what happened, who did what and while the why escapes her, shes on her way to figuring it all out.

Sleeping Beauty

Children can sleep in the most amazingly strange places and ways.  I have no idea why this is, but it surely is, what it is....

This a random selection of photos of Evangeline sleeping in odd places.  I could have a whole bunch of them from Trinity and Piper but that requires a ton of extra work I didn't feel like doing tonight.

Here she is a little baby, on her tummy, head cranked around, arm twisted up and back of hand resting on her knee.

 

You tell me, now does that look comfortable?  Looks like someone took a nasty tumble down the stairs.

Summer time aged 6 to 7 months. Basically sitting up, with head tipped back as far as it could go.  I know every time I fall asleep with my head in a funny way I wake up with such a pain....in the neck :) 

Not such an usual way to find a child sleeping, tucked safely away in the car seat linked up to the stroller.  What's so strange about this?  Imagine 200+ relatives making a ruckus, a live band blaring in the background and at least 75 screaming children.  Welcome to a Williams' family reunion. A sight to stop many in their tracks, definitely not one that puts many to sleep.

This is a more classic pose.  You know that moment when everything goes quiet and you go to see what trouble they are making and you find them completely passed out.  This is that moment.  This particular day she had just come home from Mema's house.  In such a rush to join her sisters in play she could not be bothered to remove shoes or coat.  She settled into a clear play spot and promptly passed out.

My all time favorite!  Kids find joy in the simplest things.  A large box becomes a source of endless enjoyment and costs you very little.  Evangeline played with this box for weeks. I don't know what spurned her to decide to do it but she laid a pillow down in the bottom tossed a blanket in and grabbed her sippy cup and fell asleep there.  Slept for 3 hours crammed up in that box.  For the first time ever when she got up she complained that her legs hurt. Gee I wonder why.

And here she is a day or two later....she had given up the sleeping in the box.  She had been telling me the letters on her animal cards when suddenly she stopped talking to me, I looked up and there she was, spread eagle on the floor again. Perfect chalk outline could be made out of this pose.  

Its also one of my favorite ways to discover that one of my children are asleep.  They chatter and chatter and chatter and silence....better than silence is the instant snoring.  All 3 girls also have my rather annoying habit of talk in their sleep.  I giggle to think back on all the gibberish that has fallen from sleeping lips.  

"No its my butter." Trinity.

"Stop it I'm not a kitty." Piper

Evangeline's is barely intelligible most of the time, but I do hear the words "no sissy" or "Trini did it"  a lot.  I wonder what it is she dreams of when "Trini did it." sounds from her.  

Tonight we had a double header of sleeping positions. Step One: The comfortable cross leg.  Just fell asleep watching the television.  She needs to work on the holding on to the cup....it will not serve her well when she is not using something that has a top. 

Step Two, abandon the sippy cup and wad yourself up in the corner as best as you can.  Don't forget to crank that arm up as high as possible.   I dread trying to move her and have put it off writing this and watching Spartacus.  

Tricky business this will be to get her into her underjam and upstairs with out undue fuss and a full awakening.

 Wish me luck please!

The truth about Piper Grace

I know I've been quiet but it was the holiday season and all 3 kids were in the house.  We had fun just hanging out at home together, it was a wonderful week until Monday the day before they went back to school. I think we had just had enough of each other.

Anywhooo this is to make an announcement for those of you who don't know us very well.  Piper is adopted....its very much true.

Piper is originally from Africa.  Who are her real family you ask?

ZEBRAS.  That's right Piper is half Zebra, half Mountain goat and half person.  LMAO.

Piper's mom, she's very lovely. Not many people can pull off that many stripes.

I swear to goodness she was telling everyone this the last few years.
I received a message from one of Piper's friend's mother last year.  She was filling me in on a conversation they had based on Piper's conversation with the girl.  Here's kind of how it goes.

"hey mom did you know Piper was born in Africa?"
"She was? I don't think so."
"No mom she really was cause she's part Zebra."
"She's part WHAT?"
"Yeah mom she told me she's part Zebra and that's how she can run so fast.  And mom you should see her  run she's REALLY fast."

I got such a kick out of this.

This Zebra isn't running very fast.

How does a little girl think she's been born to Zebras?  Its Piper Grace and her imagination, linked to facts.  Piper can run and run and run.  That child's legs can move, she's ready at a moments notice to run, just like a Zebra. Zebras are almost like horses....most little girls are obsessed with horses. Piper decided to separate herself from her sister's obsession and chose Zebras...Everything is Zebras.  A Zebra room, Zebra stuffed animals, Zebra clothes, and Zebra pillows, blankets, bedding and a rug are coming.

Last Spring we made a trip to Tennessee to visit with Aunt Katie, Uncle Eric and Gavyn...one of our agendas was too visit the Nashville Zoo.  What's at the Nashville Zoo?  Piper's real family.  Zebras.  She was so excited to see her real mom and dad. LOL.

Hey Piper we are taking you to see your real family!

Wake up!  I'm home!

They really are a nice looking animal.

I love Piper's imagination.  She has full conversations with the bugs and birds outside, they all have names and social lives.

Mr. Bee is a nice enough guy.  He won't sting you unless you make him very angry.  Mr. Bee has a neighbor, Mr. Wasp.  Mr. Wasp is not nice and Mr. Wasp and Mr. Bee hate each other. 

White moths are all named Kenny.  Kenny visits often during the spring and summer and they will spend hours running around the yard together.

Snails....Gary.  Garys are collected and given bike rides and swing and take trips down the slide.

Ants don't have names because there are too many of them all at once, and heaven forbid you step on an ant.  Piper will have a heart attack and cry and cry...."NO stop!  Trinity you are killing all my friends."

I wish sometimes that I could move into Piper's world.  It seems nice there.  With Zebra parents and buggy friends, and that Mountain Goat tossed in to help her climb mountains.